What exactly does it mean if someone tells you you’re not a good fit — that you can’t get through the office door? It’s one of those phrases that immediately says…nothing. I think people use expressions like “not a good fit,” or “we’re moving in a different direction” because they don’t want to tell you the truth. Or, because they’re lazy. They don’t want to take the time to be specific. Either way, vague jargon like “we’re not a good fit” isn’t clear communication.
Not long ago I was looking over a business proposal from someone hoping to work with me. I felt his quote was high, and that some aspects of the proposal were unclear. Naturally, given that communication is my business, I asked for clarification. But instead of expanding on the proposal or its cost, he simply sent me that deadly one-sentence response: “We’re not a good fit.”
We’re Not A Good Fit!
I admit it, I rolled my eyes. What did he mean? I could only speculate. Did he feel I was asking too many questions? Had he invested as much time in the proposal as he was willing to spend explaining it? Was it something I said? I’ll never know! All I know for sure is that it felt a bit like being fired before we even started working together.
Right Person Wrong Job
So, what might you do if someone tells you they don’t think you’re a good fit? It depends. If you want to know the truth: Ask. Explain to the person that it may be helpful to know the specifics regarding why you aren’t a “good fit.” It might be for a job, for a company, for a doorway — whatever the case may be. The answer might surprise you. It could be a case of “right person, wrong job.”
On the other hand, if you sense your talents and abilities are not being recognized, maybe you don’t want to work with those folks either. In that case, just smile and say, “Yes, I agree, we’re not a good fit.” But if you’re an employee who is literally being fired for “not being a good fit” for a company’s culture, that’s another matter. That’s when you need to consult local employment law.
Company Culture
Come to think of it, “company culture” is in itself a vague term. Does it mean everyone must share the same work ethic and company values? Is it about wanting to have drinks on Friday afternoon with your co-workers? Does it mean knowing to laugh at the boss’s jokes even if they aren’t funny? Or is it just code for some kind of discrimination.
Is It Passive Aggressive?
As the Urban Dictionary aptly defines it, “not a good fit” is a “passive aggressive understatement used when rejecting a job candidate, firing a worker, or breaking up with a spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend.” So, I suggest we consider retiring the expression — unless we’re talking about a pair of pants that are too tight!
Schedule a 30 minute complimentary phone or video meeting to meet Dr. Sandra Folk. She’ll be happy to talk to you about your business communications challenges.