How Do You Handle Rejection in Business?

At some point in business you will be rejected, no matter who you are. Oprah Winfrey was told she was “unfit for TV.” Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Steve Jobs was fired from Apple! True, famous people are probably rejected less often than we mere mortals.  But rejection happens to everyone,  in both life and in business.

The question is: How do you handle rejection in business?

Recently, I tried getting information about a women’s executive group I saw advertised on social media.  The representative, who contacted me by phone, noted I was “a perfect fit.” Not sure for what though!  She immediately pressed me to sign up for a “lifetime membership.” When I asked  to have more information sent to me,  I was told I was “disqualified.” She then hung up the phone!

Of course I had to laugh. It was obviously a scam. Even so, it had a little sting. (It’s never nice to be hung up on.) It reminded me of more serious rejections in business I had in the past, and how I got over them. Here are three keys to help you deal with the sting of rejection in business:

1. Be Kind To Yourself

What would you tell a friend or colleague who was rejected? You’d say “yes, it’s disappointing, but not the end of the world.” You’d encourage them not to beat up on themselves. Do the same for yourself. Be kind to yourself.

2. Be Fair To Yourself

Most likely you’ve been accepted for your ideas and abilities in the past. (Probably more than you’ve been rejected.) Remind yourself of the successes and the positives. Not every situation works out the way you hope it will. It doesn’t mean you are a disaster.

3. Educate Yourself

Ask yourself what you learned from the situation that will help in the future. Did you make mistakes you could avoid making again? If you suffer a number of rejections and are given the same reason each time, take a step back and look at why. Use rejection to make you stronger.

True, rejection always feels personal. And when your ideas are rejected, it’s hard not to feel it’s you that’s been rejected. But try to view rejection in the workplace as just a setback.  Usually, that’s all it is in the long run.  

As for that executive women’s group I wanted to join! If I had to do it again, I’d probably research the organization a little more thoroughly before I contacted them. That way I would have realized they were on the shady side and “disqualified” myself before giving them the chance to “disqualify” me!

 Schedule a 30 Minute Complimentary Meeting to meet Sandra via phone or video. Find out if you both are a good fit to work together. Come to the call with your questions and what business communications challenges you’d like to get help with.

Don’t Be An English Language Bully

For better or for worse, English is the dominant international language of business. This tends to give native English speakers  an advantage when it comes to business communication. But it shouldn’t give anyone the right to be what I call an “English language bully.”

What’s an English language bully?

Someone whose use of English makes life more difficult for non-native English speakers. For instance, a manager who uses too many “inside baseball” expressions during meetings — like the expression inside baseball! Colloquial expressions and jargon may confuse someone whose primary language isn’t English. A manager who doesn’t take this into consideration is creating a barrier to communication.

Research shows that when a native English speaker enters a conversation with a group of non-native English speakers the level of understanding goes down. This isn’t only because of the use of unfamiliar words or phrases. It’s also because native English speakers tend to use complicated sentences rather than speaking in a way that’s accessible to everyone.

So, what can you, as a manager or decision maker whose primary language is English, do to make sure that you aren’t an English language bully? Ask yourself the following:

·  Is everyone in the room (or the Zoom) a native English speaker? Are you truly valuing all abilities, or are you falling into a trap of assuming that because someone speaks with an accent they are not as intelligent? Just as it’s important not to discriminate based on race or gender, it’s also important not to discriminate, on the basis of language.

·  Are you in the habit of using jargon or sports metaphors? Set the tone for all of your colleagues and employees by avoiding that kind of use of language. Aim for clarity of meaning. Don’t create a club of exclusivity through language differences.

I work with many business professionals whose primary language isn’t English.

Some of these  professionals have a non-English accent. Some have a less extensive English vocabulary than I do. But they also have tremendous knowledge and skills. The fact that they are bilingual means in some ways these professionals have even more to offer. In the competitive world of business, that’s something everyone — whatever your primary language is — would do well to keep in mind!

 Schedule a 30 Minute Complimentary Meeting to meet Sandra via phone or video. Find out if you both are a good fit to work together. Come to the call with your questions and what business communications challenges you’d like to get help with.

How To Present Your Ideas Without Creating Conflict

Many people get nervous about making presentations. Maybe your throat goes dry. Maybe your hands start to shake, or you have butterflies in your stomach. The heat is on!  

Others may find the pressure motivating and love sharing their ideas with a group. Most of the time, I’m one of those people. My extensive teaching experience has helped me become accustomed to public speaking. And it’s a wonderful feeling when your presentation connects with your audience.  

Features of a Good Presentation

But, however you feel about making presentations, know that there is one important fundamental for all of us. Good presentations aren’t only about appearing comfortable in front of your audience. They’re not only about having high-quality content. There’s something else you have to consider: It’s how to present your ideas without creating conflict. That’s because any audience to whom you present has the potential for conflict to arise, for the following reasons:

• Stakeholders with differing interests and agendas

• Individuals who need to collaborate as a team

• Personality differences within a group

So, how do you present your ideas without causing conflict? First, you need to strategize. 

How To Present Ideas

Think, reflect, plan: You may know your material inside out. But that’s only part of the preparation. You have to think carefully about whom you are presenting to. Reflect on potential conflict “hot buttons.” Plan how you might diffuse them. For example: 

Listen, listen, listen: When other people ask questions or share their point of view, don’t jump in too quickly. Listen first. Then, summarize your understanding of what it is they have said. Consider using the neurolinguistic programming technique of “mirroring,” by repeating that person’s key message, using her/his own language. Avoid the “but” response, where you simply contradict what the other person has said. Build on what they are saying, rather than tearing it down.

Review, analyze, revise: Ideally, record any major presentation (easy to do on platforms like Zoom). Analyze what worked and what didn’t. Notice whether the words you used had an impact. Consider how your tone and body language worked or didn’t. Most importantly, use that information for your next (and even better!) presentation. 

Schedule a 30 Minute Complimentary Meeting to meet Sandra via phone or video. Find out if you both are a good fit to work together. Come to the call with your questions and what business communications challenges you’d like to get help with.

Why Your Words Matter

What You Say Isn’t Always What Others Hear

The words we choose and how we use them in our business communication affect how others hear them, be it positively, negatively, or not at all.  We tend to assume that whoever hears what we say, understands our message in the same way we do. This may not necessarily be the case, whether you’re a native English speaker or not. As leaders, it’s important to communicate with clarity and understand the impact of our words on our audience.

How often have you conducted an online meeting where you present your ideas? The conversation seems to flow back and forth, readily. Questions are asked. You’re sure everyone’s understood and got the messages and the key points. They know what actions need to be taken and how to follow up with the determined plan. You think you’ve been clear and succinct. Yet, some people in the meeting have interpreted your words differently than you intended. Whether you’re a native English speaker or someone whose first language is not necessarily English, there is potential for confusion. 

A while ago, I hired a new assistant.  We discussed procedures and processes. He took meeting notes and sent them to me later that day. We reviewed and agreed on tasks to be completed. However, when he actually did the work, it didn’t reflect what we agreed upon. I was sure I was clear and succinct, and checked for understanding. There was no doubt in my mind all was clear.

As a leader it’s important to ensure that others are clear on what needs to be done and how it will be accomplished. So, what might you do to avoid sabotaging your own successes? Here are four ways to do so.

Know Your Audience

When planning be sure to put yourself in their shoes so you know what words and expectations will resonate with them. Avoid jargon and vague language.

Review Details

During the meeting review discussion points and record them for sharing with your audience. Both visual and aural learning works.

Confirm Next Steps

Have audience members confirm next steps to be carried out before leaving the meeting. 

Be a Great Listener 

How you listen determines what your audience will or won’t do. And remember your non-verbal communication. Body language counts.

Schedule a 30 Minute Complimentary Meeting to meet Sandra via phone or video. Find out if you both are a good fit to work together. Come to the call with your questions and what business communications challenges you’d like to get help with.